The hill
by selena23loveless
Summary: Sasuke has to deal with his inner conflicts and climbs a hill on the process.


_**The hill**_

~Flashback~

"You said you'd help me with kunai training", came the sad voice of a little boy standing in the door frame.

Itachi turned a little, still busy putting on his shoes.

"I will, but not now, ototo. Something came up, I have to go into the village"

"Something always comes up", said the boy pouting.

Finishing with his shoes, Itachi stretched a hand to pat his little brother's head. Sasuke flinched.

"Impatient as always, aren't you? But until I have time to help you, why don't you practice on your own ? You might even surprise me", said Itachi and smiled. Sasuke's eyes widened and a smile lightened his face.

"Hn", he approved happily.

~End flashback~

~Flashback~

"Why did you do it? Why?" Asked Sasuke unable to hold back his tears

"Why?" Replied a cold voice. "Because I wanted to test my abilities, see how far I can go" Itachi turned his face towards his little brother, but Sasuke couldn't recognize him anymore. He looked at him trying in vain to find even a small part of his brother, but he could only see a cold stranger…a murderer…and everything seemed to fall apart

~End flashback~

~Flashback~

"If your grief is so strong than hate me…hate me and be stronger. When you're strong enough try to kill me; I'll be waiting for you!"…

"Your hate is not strong enough"

~End flashback~

_ images again. Why are they h__aunting me? Why did it turn out like this? What should I do?_ Sasuke began pacing his room up and down…but soon the house became too small. He had to get out.

_After all these years of training haven't I progressed at all? All the opponents I have battled, all the competitions..were useless? No matter how strong I become, he always seems to be stronger..not only that, but the difference between us is so…_ Sasuke sped up his pace, wandering through the village without being able to see anything around.

The cold morning breeze was the same as the cold in his heart, except it didn't run as deep. There were a few people outside at that early hour, but it didn't matter, because he couldn't see them. He couldn't spot a blonde hyperactive ninja calling out to him in the crowd. Nor sense him.

Soon he was outside the town, climbing a hill. His tormented mind needed a rough path to climb in order to keep his thoughts down as much as possible.

_If I think about it, he often used to let me search for the answers…he made the quest as difficult as possible in order to prepare me for life. If I find the answers, if I become strong enough, will I finally be able to understand you, __aniki?_ Thought the raven-haired boy while jumping on some rocks.

_I always wanted to be like you, to gain your admiration and trust. I wanted to be recognized by the villagers, not as Itachi's brother, but as who I really am. As long as I lived in your shadow nobody would see me. I wanted to be seen and acknowledged…like Naruto_. Sasuke smiled. _Maybe I'm not so different from that guy as I thought. Yes, I can understand you, Naruto, I know why you want to prove your worth so much. To know that your existence is important to somebody, to know that there is someone who needs and accepts you as you are. Like Haku. To know that even if your life is full of ups and downs, there is someone who needs you, and that one person makes life worth living. If you can't find such a reason to live you're lost...like Gaara was._ The path became more abrupt with every step Sasuke took.

_I need to find that reason again, because I have lost it. Aniki, what were you thinking? Don't you care at all for me? Were all these years that we lived together a lie? Should I just accept all this without questioning? I can't do that! Can't you see it's not fair__!_ Suddenly he stumbled on a big rock, but slowly got up and continued climbing.

_Should I hate you now? Do you think I can really do that? My hate is not strong enough…of course it's not! What would you expect?You're my brother…why? _Thinking that way Sasuke suddenly became disoriented and stopped. But than he snapped out of that state and gathered all his anger, beginning to climb again…higher and higher.

_I have fought strong opponents, always with the aim to become stronger…but all my efforts meant nothing when I met you again. Should I go to Orochimaru now, in search for more power? But if I do that, what will become of my soul__? To seek power above everything else, is that all right? Is that what you want me to become?_

The peak was close, so he continued climbing with all his strength, using his chakra when it was too steep.

_If I fallow the path__ you want me to take, will I understand your reasons?_ He finally reached the peak and stood up looking at the mesmerizing view before him, letting himself being drown inside the abyss.

_Than I'll do that…since I have no choice. I'll do what you say, become stronger and defeat you. Maybe th__en you'll be my brother again…and I won't be alone_.

Suddenly Sasuke felt a hand grab his shoulder.

"You think you're alone, or what?" The Uchiha boy turned to see an angry, out of breath Naruto staring at him.

"I've been following you for two hours, but seems you've gone deaf to my calls..you haven't sensed me either!"

"Naruto?"

"He?... Naruto? What happened to dobe?" Asked the blonde ninja teasingly.

"I haven't time for this, dobe", replied Sasuke returning to his old self.

"What do you mean you don't have time?" Said Naruto upset. "We were worried for you –I mean Sakura, I wasn't worried, but she asked me to go look for you – and you say you don't have time? Baka!"

Sasuke sighed.

"You needen't have done this, I'm fine. Why would you worry about me?" Asked Sasuke looking in the distance.

"How about you stop acting so brave and talk to me honestly? We're a team, aren't we?" Asked Naruto putting a hand on Sasuke's shoulder and forcing him to look in his eyes.

"Hm. I know". Sasuke's eyes were serious, but it was difficult to see what was hiding behind them. "You can't do anything, it's my quest and mine alone. But I'm fine".

"You're hopeless", sighed Naruto scratching his head and turning to see the view. The village looked so small from up there and the red sky of the evening seemed to be closer than ever.

"Ne, Sasuke." Both continued to look in the distance. "Whatever you do, no matter which decision you take, I want you to remember that you're not alone. We're with you!"

Sasuke smiled. "Don't tell me the climbing made you soft!" He stated challengingly.

"Ha! You wish! I'll race you to the village…last one to get there is a softie!"

Epilogue:

_Those guys! They are not in the village…could it be that they went outside? But where? Oh…I really hope Naruto manages to find Sasuke in time! I want Sasuke to be safe…let him be all right, Kami-sama!_

Suddenly Sakura noticed something coming from the hill, at high speed.

_Are those two giant balls?...No, it's Naruto…the other one is Sasuke. __Are they rolling at high speed downhill? Are they crazy? Don't they know it's dangerous to run downhill? Oh, I should buy as many bandages as I can, they'll need some_, thought the pink-haired girl and hurried inside the village to buy the bandages.


End file.
